Wedding Planning Advice from the Pros (Part 4/6: The Guest List)

Are you looking for some wedding planning advice? We are not surprised! Whether you decide to hire a wedding planner or not, planning your perfect wedding can be time-consuming, stressful, and hard work. But with the right tips, advice, and strategy, it can be much easier and less stressful.

That’s why we’ve searched to find out from recent newlyweds what they wish they would have done differently, and from the wedding planners themselves what expert wedding planning advice and tips they have. We’ve collected all those tips and advice here in this handy six-part guide, organized into categories for easy perusal. If you missed Parts 1, 2, and 3 be sure to check those out!

Here is some important wedding planning advice from the pros about the all-important guest list. 

1. Be selective
2. Create a hierarchy
3. Prepare for rejection
4. Wedding planning advice for a kids or no kids policy
5. Wedding planning advice for plus ones
6. Become a host for your guests

1. Be selective

Solidifying your guest list is one of the first major things you need to do before the rest of your wedding planning can begin. While it might sound ideal to be able to invite everyone you know to come help you celebrate your big day, the more wedding guests you have the more expensive your wedding will be. In fact, costs per head will most likely be your biggest expense. So some important wedding planning advice is to be selective of who you invite to your wedding. 

Since each person adds a substantial amount to the cost, don’t let yourself be guilt-tripped into inviting people you really don’t want or need to be there. This will be one of the biggest and hardest decisions of the wedding planning process. Pressure for invites can come from all angles, so be resolute and make sure your guest list is a product of your and your fiance’s decisions alone.

Once you have a grip on your approximate number of guests and how much space you will need, you can start settling on things like your venue and catering. And don’t forget to start that seating chart early if you decide to make one! Seating charts are an art and can end up being more stressful than some couples might realize. 

2. Create a hierarchy

If you’re struggling with creating your guest list, some wedding planning advice from the pros is to start by organizing your guests within a “hierarchy.” It will just naturally be more important for some people to be present at your wedding than others. When creating tiers of priority, place immediate family, the bridal party, and best friends at the top of the list. Next, place extended family and close friends you just can imagine celebrating without. After that, add people who are more “acquaintances,” such as neighbors, coworkers, your parents’ friends, etc. This way, if you need to make cuts, start from that bottom tier until you reach your agreed-upon guest list number. 

3. Prepare for rejection

After spending all of that time perfecting your guest list, it’s important wedding planning advice to understand that not everyone will be able to come. Prepare yourself for those rejections, and try not to be too disappointed. In fact, you can probably go ahead and plan for about 10 to 20 percent of your RSVPs to come back as a “no.” But don’t take that too personally, as there are many reasons why someone might not be able to attend a wedding. A lot has to do with the location and timing of your wedding. 

For instance, if you are planning a holiday wedding, there might be some pre-existing family traditions or vacation plans that cannot be changed. Likewise, if you have a lot of out-of-towners on your list, it’s understandable that many might not be able to make the trip due to finances or work conflicts. And especially if you are planning a destination wedding, it’s just natural that it will be harder for your guests to attend and there will be more rejections. 

4. Wedding planning advice for a kids or no kids policy

Another great wedding planning advice tip to avoid some drama later is to decide early in the planning process on a uniform kids or no kids policy. Essentially, there are four choices when it comes to kids at a wedding. You can:

• Welcome all kids, no questions asked
• Opt for an “adults only” wedding to avoid the issue entirely
• Set the boundaries of kids of immediate family only
• Hire a child care service to provide daycare for the kids of guests at the reception, at a hotel, or at someone’s home. This is the most expensive option.

Deciding on one of these four options will help you avoid hurting feelings by allowing some families to bring their kids but not others. 

5. Wedding planning advice for plus ones

If you’ve made all the cuts to your guest list you possibly can but are still over your target number, some wedding planning advice from the pros is to start limiting the “plus ones” allotted to guests. Have an approximate seating chart in mind and, starting with that “bottom tier” of guests, only allow a plus one where there might be a single guest who might feel a little out of place with the rest of the table.

6. Become a host for your guests

Weddings can be stressful for both you and your guests. There are family tensions, the pressure of religious traditions, and financial stress. And this is especially true if your guests have to travel to the event. So some good wedding planning advice for planning a successful wedding is to become a host and focus on your guests, keeping their total experience in mind. 

When choosing your date, make sure to check around to see what other local events might be going on, such as graduations, concerts, or large conferences that could make the rates of transportation and lodging more expensive for your out-of-towners.

Being a good host also means thinking of what your guests’ various needs might be during the ceremony and the reception. For example, if there is a possibility that they might be too hot or too cold, provide blankets, fans, or water to address the issue and keep them comfortable. And during the reception, make sure there are enough servers and bartenders (if you’ve opted for them) so your guests aren’t left waiting too long for their meal or in lines for drinks. 

Be sure to stay tuned for Parts 5, and 6 of this guide where we reveal more wedding planning advice from the pros!

Still haven’t found a venue? Give us a call to plan a tour and find out why Jennings Trace could be the perfect wedding venue you’ve been looking for.

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